Dear Straight Men:
I wanted to share a few reasons with you today why I am better at oral sex than your past, present and future girlfriends. I do not say this to be sarcastic or rude, and I am sure there are girls out there who are pretty good...but nevertheless, I am still better and here is why:
10. I'm better at oral sex because I am intimately familiar with the equipment. I have my own dick, and I know what feels good and what doesn't.
9. I'm better at oral sex because I don't mind if you hold my head down or thrust into my mouth, in fact, I sometimes prefer you take the lead.
8. I'm better at oral sex than your girlfriend because I like it when you talk dirty, and tell me what to do.
7. I'm better at oral sex because I am not afraid of cum. As long as you avoid my eyes, I don't care where you blow your load.
6. I'm better at oral sex because I'll let you watch porn while I suck your dick, in fact I may watch it with you.
5. I'm better at oral sex because I don't suck and tell. Why ruin a perfectly good situation by telling people about it?
4. I'm better at oral sex because I use more than just my mouth, and focus on more than just your dick. And if you think this doesn't sound better, you've clearly never experienced it.
3. I'm better at oral sex because I can be. Let's face it, girls who have too much experience are looked down upon, whereas I can just keep practicing my technique.
2. I'm better at oral sex than your girlfriend because I can make you cum fast or keep you on edge for hours until you beg me to let you finish.
And the top reason I am better at oral sex than your girlfriend...
1. I'm better at oral sex because you want me to be. Let's face it straight guys, somewhere in the back of your mind you have wondered what it would be like to get head from a guy. And I promise you, I am much better than those rumors make it out to be!
2 comments:
HAHAHAH!! Too true! Though specifically I was referring to straight porn.
The truth!!
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